full circle
as always...it's been a while...i think i've been pretty consistent in atleast posting once a month. so here goes my monthly post...
i've become very involved in my church ministries...even in my most trying of times. i find great joy in serving others & God...by way of these ministries. it is also my way of "giving back". appx. 4 years ago i became involved in a women's ministry that changed my life. i arrived to this ministry with a very dark cloud above me but on a weekend retreat...i met a group of women who would breath new life into me...you know who you are...my pillars. since then we have grown closer & stronger. we've supported each other through dating, marriage, childbirth, parenting, separation & yes even divorce.
as for the ministry...i've been a "die hard" follower...sort to speak. and i've met many other fantastic women who have helped me along in my journey.
in july i received a call that was rather unexpected...not to mention nerve wrecking...i was being invited to assist in spearheading the next women's retreat at my church...the best part (sarcastically speaking) is that it was in spanish.
i have always prided myself in knowing that i am bilingual & i am. but for some reason the thought of putting together a retreat in spanish...unnerved me on many levels. i took some time (roughly 2 days) to pray about my response. panic, anxiety, fear & insecurity...quickly set in.
for the past 8 weeks...in preparing for this retreat...i've chartered in unknown waters. the seas were not always peaceful...in fact many times...the waters got pretty choppy. but alas...the final week has arrived. it's amazing how much you can learn about yourself & others in just a short 8 weeks.
my impetus in saying YES, i will serve the Lord's calling...was a pretty deep rooted one.
in my 2 days of intense prayer...i asked God to show me a clear response as to why he felt THIS was something HE needed me to do. ask & you shall receive...blarring back at me came the date of the retreat. for many october 7th, 8th or 9th may not make much of a difference but for me the dates were etched in my heart...or so i thought.
needless to say i accepted the task...i've grown quite secure in saying YES to tasks given to me by God...despite my fears & insecurities...i've learned to trust in Him...that despite whatever my "worldy" doubts may be (and boy do i have many)...that He will see me through...surely this was NO different.
so this weekend will officially make ONE YEAR since i divorced. NEVER in my wildest dream did i EVER think that a year later....THIS is where i would be. this past year...i've gone through some pretty DARK, GLOOMY & MUDDY valleys. but i kept on tredding on...often times kicking & screaming.
the 8 weeks have brought MUCH strife...i've learned MANY things...some things far more painful than others. but sometimes you gotta look your reality in the face, hold it's hand & walk with it. holds true that the closer you grow to Him...the more challenges come your way. but i've made it...i am ready to stand at the mountain top.
another milestone will be acheived...my horrible memory of a divorce hearing will now be replaced with the joy of having served Him in the place where i rekindled my relationship with Him. i know the journey is far from over...i've got much more to learn...but i know that He stands with me.
it hold true that he doesn't promise a calm passage but He does promise a Safe landing. let me NOT pray to be sheltered from dangers BUT to be fearless in facing them. let me NOT beg for the stilling of my pain BUT for the heart to conquer it.
i've come full circle...as i quickly approach my time to "report to duty"...i am excited yet nervous...i feel like it's a graduation of sorts. i know i have many people supporting me & cheering me on & i know that He does the same also! so...there is NO pain He cannot heal & Yes the scars of divorce can be healed & there is Life after it! Believe & Trust in Him...he will show you the way!
i've become very involved in my church ministries...even in my most trying of times. i find great joy in serving others & God...by way of these ministries. it is also my way of "giving back". appx. 4 years ago i became involved in a women's ministry that changed my life. i arrived to this ministry with a very dark cloud above me but on a weekend retreat...i met a group of women who would breath new life into me...you know who you are...my pillars. since then we have grown closer & stronger. we've supported each other through dating, marriage, childbirth, parenting, separation & yes even divorce.
as for the ministry...i've been a "die hard" follower...sort to speak. and i've met many other fantastic women who have helped me along in my journey.
in july i received a call that was rather unexpected...not to mention nerve wrecking...i was being invited to assist in spearheading the next women's retreat at my church...the best part (sarcastically speaking) is that it was in spanish.
i have always prided myself in knowing that i am bilingual & i am. but for some reason the thought of putting together a retreat in spanish...unnerved me on many levels. i took some time (roughly 2 days) to pray about my response. panic, anxiety, fear & insecurity...quickly set in.
for the past 8 weeks...in preparing for this retreat...i've chartered in unknown waters. the seas were not always peaceful...in fact many times...the waters got pretty choppy. but alas...the final week has arrived. it's amazing how much you can learn about yourself & others in just a short 8 weeks.
my impetus in saying YES, i will serve the Lord's calling...was a pretty deep rooted one.
in my 2 days of intense prayer...i asked God to show me a clear response as to why he felt THIS was something HE needed me to do. ask & you shall receive...blarring back at me came the date of the retreat. for many october 7th, 8th or 9th may not make much of a difference but for me the dates were etched in my heart...or so i thought.
needless to say i accepted the task...i've grown quite secure in saying YES to tasks given to me by God...despite my fears & insecurities...i've learned to trust in Him...that despite whatever my "worldy" doubts may be (and boy do i have many)...that He will see me through...surely this was NO different.
so this weekend will officially make ONE YEAR since i divorced. NEVER in my wildest dream did i EVER think that a year later....THIS is where i would be. this past year...i've gone through some pretty DARK, GLOOMY & MUDDY valleys. but i kept on tredding on...often times kicking & screaming.
the 8 weeks have brought MUCH strife...i've learned MANY things...some things far more painful than others. but sometimes you gotta look your reality in the face, hold it's hand & walk with it. holds true that the closer you grow to Him...the more challenges come your way. but i've made it...i am ready to stand at the mountain top.
another milestone will be acheived...my horrible memory of a divorce hearing will now be replaced with the joy of having served Him in the place where i rekindled my relationship with Him. i know the journey is far from over...i've got much more to learn...but i know that He stands with me.
it hold true that he doesn't promise a calm passage but He does promise a Safe landing. let me NOT pray to be sheltered from dangers BUT to be fearless in facing them. let me NOT beg for the stilling of my pain BUT for the heart to conquer it.
i've come full circle...as i quickly approach my time to "report to duty"...i am excited yet nervous...i feel like it's a graduation of sorts. i know i have many people supporting me & cheering me on & i know that He does the same also! so...there is NO pain He cannot heal & Yes the scars of divorce can be healed & there is Life after it! Believe & Trust in Him...he will show you the way!
Congrats Grad!!!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part: it hold true that he doesn't promise a calm passage but He does promise a Safe landing. let me NOT pray to be sheltered from dangers BUT to be fearless in facing them. let me NOT beg for the stilling of my pain BUT for the heart to conquer it.
ReplyDeleteGood Yob Charlie Brown ;-)
(naio)